Lamb cutlets with smashed peas and mint sauce

Cutlets and meatballs

See that knife and fork to the side? Forget them, don't use them. Tie back your hair, roll up your sleeves, firmly grasp the handle of the cutlet, and sink your teeth into the tender scallop of flesh, allowing (of course) for all the juices to dribble down both chin and fingers. If you have a beard, shave it. Not even years of torturous hair growing only to look like a pubescent Keanu Reeves is worth having to eat these cutlets delicately. Grab a spoon (if you haven't already completely abandoned civility) and smash some of that Pea Smash atop your cutlet. Think-a biscuit and cheese. Think-there's no bloody way even a fern gully fairy is going to leave the slightest green skid mark on a plate. Eliminate the plate and bring on the mint sauce. As if it wasn't heavenly enough, dribble some home-made mint sauce over the lot and devour it before the whole thing becomes too overwhelming and you have to go lie down. Why have I smashed the peas? Cos their slippery little bloated bellied bodies running all over my plate feed into my fear of abandonment. Plus their manageability factor goes through the roof, keeping your dinner table war zone-free (peas are the perfect ammunition for a catapult-spoon). Mint and peas go together like a fine wine and a beautiful human. They exist in perfect harmony, and will forevermore be the perfect addition to leave you feeling fresh and sweet after such a carnal affair.

Oct. 1, 2021, 11:49 a.m.