Dear Future Children, I know you don’t exist yet, but I am pretty confident in saying that I think we will get along pretty swimmingly. It bodes well for me that your cousins really like me. But, that also might have something to do with the fact that it is very hard for me to say no to their cute little pixie faces. If you are anything like I was at your age, you have learned of this weakness and use it against me. Frequently. I would also like to state for the record that I am not a fan of you guys constantly wiping dirt, snot, grease and other unmentionable grossness on my nice clothes. When you have kids of your own who try to use you as a napkin, I want you to remember that I never yelled. Instead, I smiled, wiped off the grossness, and carried on watching you play happily amongst your own filth. I’m sure you have figured out by now, I will never have a problem putting cheese on any vegetable to get you to eat them. Also, I am sure you now know that I know you are just faking dislike of your vegetables …

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