On Monday morning I did something totally crazy. I reached for my cell, dialed Time Warner and cancelled my cable. This was a desperate measure to take my life back. Sound dramatic? Probably. But last week I called my mom to discuss Bethenny and Jason’s marriage, which sort of seems on the rocks (right?!!?). And on Sunday night I was all like, “Whoa Cythia! That orphan comment you said about Kim was craaaazy messed up. KIM, DON’T FORGIVE HER!” I have to draw the line sometimes, you know? Being invested in TV relationships is just too much for me right now. I can’t deal. I’d rather spend my life thinking about other things…like bacon and popcorn, and cookies with brown butter in them. Also, this means I have more money to spend on shoes. Shoes > Cable. DUH! I woke up thinking about popcorn, literally. I dreamed this popcorn situation while laying in bed before my alarm went off. My first brain-thought when I get up is always coffee. Always. So, coffee lead to breakfast foods. Breakfast foods lead to bacon. Bacon lead to something sweet…like maple syrup. Maple syrup lead to sugar, which then transformed into slightly browned, creamy …

Nov. 12, 2023, 2:14 a.m.

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