Peaches ‘n cream pancakes
Pancakes
American cuisine
The thing I’m afraid of more than my usuals: failure, not having kids “on time,” my life not working out in general, is a scary murderer. I go through great lengths to avoid murderers. I post Instagram photos of places I’m at only after I leave. I know all of you are super lovely BUT what about that one psycho, nut-job that wants to grind me up and put me in a hamburger, huh? That guy is scary. I don’t want him finding me at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop. I also have a nightly ritual of checking every window (I live on the 2nd floor) and door in my apartment to make no one can get in. And, though, I kind of hate light in my face as I sleep, I’m always sure to have a few lights on throughout my apartment. I figure the scary murderer will think I’m up reading rather than sleeping and he’ll stay away. You have to get in the head of a murderer, you know?! Some may think (read: my dad) that these kind of precautions are ridiculous, and maybe they are. They’re probably just a sign of my current single status and …
Share:
0
44
0
Comments