Things I swear I will never do again: Tell myself on Saturday that 'starting MONDAY I will only eat vegetables and drink water until I reach my goal weight'.  Which usually plays out like this:  Monday morning 10:30 am, me in the corner stuffing my mouth with Cheeze-Its, swearing that I was about to die if I didn't have sustenance, yelling at the dog for making me so weak. Wear false eyelashes in public.  Not because they don't look great on OTHER people, but because I have false eyelash-lexia and in a matter of hours I have a half on-half

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